My Doctor was somewhat hesitant to do a referral as he believed I wouldnt meet the strict goverernment criteria, in order to receive funding from the NHS.

This was hurdle number 1 then, and so not to be put off or beaten I just got on line to see what it is that’s required.  Check out the criteria on the web and see if my BMI was 40 or more, and check out all the comorbidities.  My BMI was 40.1 so that was ok, but I didnt have high blood pressure, or high chloresterol or diabeties?  Also, there had to be proof that I had exhausted several forms of dieting, all be it with a slimming club or with prescribed medicine like reductil etc. So now what? Go back to doctor and start begging.

Right then…I’m in begging mode, off to see doctor.  I did have the BMI of 40, plus I had proof that I had tried all sorts of diets  such as slimming world, weight watchers, atkins diet, egg and grapefruit diet and slimming magazine (including overeaters annonymous, hypno therapy, accupuncture and un prescribed drugs such as dospan and phentamine).  So you could say, I had given it a reasonable go, and yes I had lost weight with the various methods, even got down to 8st 4lbs, but of course, never kept it off for any length of time.  So, after relaying all this to my long suffering doctor, he agreed to do a referral to the surgeon of my choice, a Mr Hashemi at the UCH….hooray, there is a God.

My very first appointment was the 19th November, 2007 and boy was I trembling with excitement, caution, fear, anticipation.  I spent the whole journey to the hospital (90minutes) chewing gum with such vigour the flavour had almost gone within 5 minutes, this was like going for the most important interview of my entire life…I felt sick, tummy churning away, making very loud disgusting noises I’m sure the commuters on the train could hear my tummy above the noise of the engines, even turning to look at me at one point.  My face was burning red hot, was it boiling inside this train or what?  I think it must be my nerves, its freezing cold we’re in November and there’s even  snow outside!!  As I stood to leave the carriage I noticed my hand trembling !! Oh, come on….get grip…..can it really be that much of a big deal? Well, yes..it is a massive deal to me thanks…the voices in my head were arguing!! I’ve become possessed……

Gets to meet this lovely man Mr Hashemi.  He asked me several questions about my weight….yawn, bored, yawn again….very bored now…started to regret asking…..deeply regret asking…..mind starting to wonder……oh my eyes feel so heavy. ……

 Poor man, he was ultra polite as well, and so while I rambled on and on about my weight since the age of 7 years, he punctuated my speech with the odd nod, smile or raised brow .  Even the 2 students, who were sitting in on the meeting looked bored rigid but just smiled politely, probably based on pity.

Anyway, Mr H said I would need to see his dietician (all patients do) also, I would need to have a doppler scan on my calves due to a history of DVT’s and blood clots and of course, a psychiatric profile….and subject to the results coming back favourable he would be happy to do a gastric bypass…..oh deep joy, how wonderful, oh I am so excited, thankyou, thankyou.  I was so exstatic I wanted to pick him up and swing him round my head (he is only short you see) but of course I didnt, thought it would be a bit over the top, so controlled my impulses and just shook his hand.  Luckily for him eh?

So, got an appointment for 25th February to see the dietician Nicola, lovely girl, about the size of my left leg.  Really she looked so young and slim and fresh faced you know.  Had a load more questions  for me to answer, she looked a bit sleepy half way through as well, must of had a late night, cant be my boring stories of food surely.  Also, got to see Mr Sarker (Mr Hashemi’s senior registrar) on this same day, yet another lovely man, the bedside manner was impeccable, not used to this on the NHS.  Anyway, he was shocked that the other 2 tests hadnt been carried out, so he said he would make a second referral within the hospital to speed things up for the profile and I should be getting the doppler scan within the next 2 weeks. Lovely jubbly thanks a lot Mr Sarkar, I didnt think about swinging him around my head….not because I didnt want to or anything, cos I was just as thrilled but he was about 6′ 4″.

And sure enough a new appointment came in the post for 13th March for the doppler scan..great.  Met the sonographer, yet another lovely slim young girl who asks me to take my shoes and trousers off (are all the staff in the bariatric dept young, attractive and very slim? Only I feel a little paranoid now? Or is it to prove if you were not so damn greedy you too could look like this? I wonder…hmmm). Anyway, I take my stuff off. Pop on the couch please Cheryl.  No problem. Right, so this young frail looking girl starts proding and pushing this plastic probe thing deep into my legs like theres no tomorrow, I mean she is really going some, heave ho push hard, press again, hard probe…argh blimey.  Right ok, can you stand on this? She presents this homemade wooden box contraption with a large handle coming out of  the side  facing upwards towards the ceiling for me to hold onto.   Right now, stand on the box on just one leg………  imagine now what I am looking like just in a  ‘t’  shirt and knickers standing on one leg fiercely wobbling, on a wooden box, and holding on for dear life. Right…flex…point…relax…point…flex and hold…..relax….point and flex and relax…point again…..ah no, I’m going to fall any minute…..OK, all done Cheryl., everything is fine.  If you just get dressed I will take your notes back to reception. Ahh…the relief, great news, so thats 2 of the tests done.

So, there I am in the vascular lab, getting dressed. I had put my socks on first as they were nearest, and I was in a hurry, but when it come to putting my trousers back on, I had got my leg in the first leg hole, but when I lifted the 2nd leg to get it in the other leg hole my socks were somehow catching/sticking to the trousers material causing this bizarre velcro effect not allowing me to push my foot in any further, so I then begain frantically hopping around the floor on one leg, getting faster and faster, sweating and puffing trying to free up this stuck-in-the-trouser-leg foot when I happened to glance up at the door and catch sight of the sonographer staring at me with her mouth slightly a jar and her head tilted to the left “all ok Cheryl?”  Ah, yeah nearly there was the feeble reply I managed to squeek out.

My next appointment is the psychiatric profile, which is on 21st May, with a follow up appointment in clinic for 2nd June.  I feel a bit apprehensive about the profile.  The thing is, if you blurt out all your childhood stuff they will always find something in there to pin the eating disorder on to. Its really quite simple I think.  I love food.  I dont need an excuse….I just love the stuff and plenty of it….bring it on.